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Monday, April 9, 2012

Stuff Parents Say to Teachers

From the Scheiss Weekly blog:


Can’t you make an exception for my child?
How can you live with yourself after benching my son?
Why are you failing my child?
We’re taking the kids out of school for two weeks to go to Cancun. Please give me a list of everything they’ll be missing.
I hope you’re happy now that you’ve made my child miss the big game.
I hope you’re satisfied.
Billy gets his math anxiety from me; I hated math, too.
Billy is just like his dad; neither of them can spell “cat!”
Like I tell the kids every night, some teachers just aren’t very interesting.
Billy is very sensitive and mustn’t be required to do anything that upsets him.
Billy has anger management problems; please don’t ask him to participate or work.
Please remove everything from your classroom walls; Billy is easily overstimulated.
I took the liberty of re-arranging your classroom so Billy would be more relaxed.
I told Billy not to worry about your assignments; his father and I will see to it that he passes.
Your assignment goes against our family’s belief system, so Billy won’t be doing it.
Your assignment is too hard for Billy, so he won’t be doing it.
We told Billy he could choose five words from your list of 20. He’ll be getting the same evaluation, too, we are assuming.
Our Billy just isn’t a speller, so we told him he didn’t have to take the test.
Our Billy has trouble with writing, so we told him he didn’t have to do your assignment.
Our Billy was extra tired last night, so we told him he didn’t have to do his homework.
Our Billy was up late last night, so we told him he didn’t have to come to school until noon. What did he miss in your class?
We had a church function last night that lasted until almost ten, so we told Billy not to worry about your class today.
Billy and Bobby are twins, so we will insist that whatever Billy gets, Bobby gets, too.
Our child would NEVER do that.
Our child would never say that.
Our child is NOT a bully.
Our child is a sweet, innocent little boy.
I see no reason why our 7-year-old Bonnie shouldn’t wear pants with “juicy” across the rear if all her friends have them.
Cheerleading is the most important thing on earth to our child right now, and your class WILL NOT do anything to endanger that.
Sports are Billy’s priority right now. I’m sure you understand.
Billy will be getting an athletic scholarship, so we’ve told him not to worry about his academic classes.
My brother-in-law is on the school board.
We’ll need you to be in your classroom at 5:15 p.m. for a meeting.
I hoped I’d find you here before class started! Can we talk for a minute?
I’m sure you don’t mind eating your lunch in your classroom so we can talk.
Billy says you told him his answer was incorrect. Is that true?
Billy says his free speech was challenged; is that true?
Billy’s jackknife was confiscated; I’d like it back NOW.
How dare you jeopardize Billy’s self esteem by expecting work out of him?
You do understand that you’re a public SERVANT, right?
You will see to it that Billy passes this class, you hear me?

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