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Monday, April 9, 2012

Stuff Students Say to Teachers

From the Scheiss Weekly blog:

Does this count?
Will this be on the test?
How will I ever use this in real life? (Actually, I love and welcome this question!)
Will this go on my grade?
How many points do I have to get to pass?
How many questions do I have to answer to pass?
You’re going to drop my lowest grades, right?
Can I turn this in next week instead of tomorrow?
I’m having a bad week; can I take a pass on this?
If I bring a note from my mom/doctor/neighbor/lawyer/random friend, can my absence be excused?
I’m going to Cancun the week before spring break; that’s cool, right?
Can I have a list of everything I missed while I was in Cancun?
I’m too upset to deal with this today; I’ll do it next time, ‘k?
I’m just not in the mood for learning stuff right now.
I didn’t have time to do the reading/writing/research.
How about my spray tan, right?
I brought you a sea shell from Cancun; anything happen while I was out?
Are we doing anything in class today?
Are we doing anything interesting/important/worth my time today?
Can you tell me which week would be best for me to miss for vacation?  Spring Break comes too late/early to do me any good.
Can’t you just give me the two points?  TWO POINTS, man!
I can’t play ball tomorrow night because of you!
This class is unreasonably hard; NOBODY is passing. (Everybody is passing but you.)
Why are you failing me?
What’s my grade?
How am I doing in this class?
Were we supposed to keep our returned papers? Oops.
We have a syllabus? Is there anything important on it?
I don’t have time to check my school email every day!  (On Facebook 24/7)
How am I supposed to know what to bring to class every day?  (book)
Just a minute; I’m updating my status.
Just a minute; I’m harvesting my pink roses.
Just a minute; I have to pin something.
Hold on; I’m talking to someone online.
I don’t believe in homework.
How can one test change my grade like that?
Where can I find my grades? (semester almost over)
We had homework?
Can you look over these essays before I turn them in?
Mom says not to count me tardy because it was her fault.
Here’s a note from my mom excusing me from homework because we had company.
Mom says to tell you I’ll turn in my work after the weekend instead of today.
Mom says I’m excused from today’s test and that I’ll take it later.
My mom wants you to call her tonight.
My mom wants you to email her every day.
My mom wants you to write down my assignments every day.
My mom thinks you make me work too hard.
My mom says you should be home at 7:00 tonight so she can call you.
My mom says you just don’t like cheerleaders.
But I can’t do this tonight – there’s a big game tomorrow!
I have to leave class early.
Why are you messing up my financial aid?
I was in class most of the time; I should get a pass for that!
I’m paying for this class, so I can skip if I want without penalty!
You’re working for me, you know.
I need to take this call.
I need to take this call, too.
I need to reply to this text.
I need to reply to this text, too.
I absolutely refuse to turn off my phone during the test.
Whass rong wit my grammerz?
You got a pencil I kin use?
I don’t got my books yet. (semester almost over)
When is this class over?
Oh, was I late?
Let me sum up: Everything I say, do, need, or think is excused/supplied/rationalized, right? No obligations on my part whatsoever.

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